In addition to this random writing Ive been doing, I have a love of Slam Poetry, or Spoken Word Poetry, as its more easily recognized as. Very unfortunately, though, I have been having a lot of trouble coming up with much of anything that I enjoy to any extent, either in how it reads, what its talking about… you get the idea.
Anyways, I thought maybe Id start posting some stuff on here, as well. Right now, itll probably just be my Sr. Year Monologue Show piece, and a fragment here and there… But yes. Maybe Ill get some inspiration from it or something.
Breathe (version 3, performed at UW Poetry Slam, 2nd Place)
Today, i woke up after hitting the snooze button three times,
hoping, hoping, hoping that somehow it would dissipate the day and just let me sleep.
but with that fourth shrill reminder, i got up, threw on clothes, and ran to my first class where i sat…
and i waited for the second one, waited for the third, waited for fourth, fifth, sixth, waited all day…
for what, i donno, but i waited..
making today today today a blur.. just like everyday i suppose,
because each moment was fused with another.
but at the end of the day, i drove home
i opened the car door to start the process once again, when it hit me.
one heavy rain drop, right to the center of my forehead, broke me from my stupor, and i breathed
i breathed and suddenly my lungs, myself were filled with the dense air of this rainy day
and i wondered how i had missed it
the dark sky glared down with its solemn disapproval
and slowly my one drop turned to four, turned to ten, turned to four hundred…
and now, its really raining… my favorite.
i breathe and i feel alive in this weather
but i cant help but wonder how long its been since ive felt like this.
how long ive been on fast forward..
and how long i have left.
i breathe and i realize that today, i am eight teen years and three months old..
i breathe and i realize that im now a freshman in college.
i breathe and i realize that i have no idea what im doing
i breathe and everything is moving way too fast.
and i breathe,
and i breathe,
and i breathe,
and i breathe
and all i want to do is throw on the breaks
because the sun is running laps around my head,
and seconds are hours are days are weeks are years,
all gone as quickly as they arrived
i dont want to fathom how eight teen years have already passed, or how quickly the rest of them will.
and all i want is to throw on the breaks..
and settle into life
to sit in its resonant beauty,
its circadian rhythms,
its heartache and its sorrow,
because as much as we avoid it..
as much as we try to mask it, were all headed, sprinting to the same dark end.
no matter the uncertainty that awaits in the days weeks, even months ahead,
that shadow will be lurking in my foresights,
and maybe thats why all of this living is so utterly terrifying.
now that ive left the regimented schedule of my formative years,
each step i take will be my own.
my life is my responsibility enitrely.. and i dont know if i can handle that.
I dont even know if i can trust myself with that gamble…
but what choice do i have?
I have been a college student for three and a half weeks
and each day I step farther and farther away from everything I know.
as much as i want it all to freeze, i know it cant.
tomorrow will come with the rise of the sun,
just like it always has..
just like it always will..
and what choice do i have but to step into the light?
sure, today I am eight teen years and three months old
and Im totally on my own
but today, right now, its raining.
And Im going to breathe it in.
And as promised, a fragment. This is an excerpt from my APIV Final English Project, which had us answer the question: What does it mean to be Human?
Basically, I said: To be human is to experience-to do, to think, to feel.
I started off with my sr. year monologue, and trainsitioned into stories of how I woke up the past year. Three stories, one for each segment. There were pictures and stuff. Anyway, this is how I ended it, and I like it. So I wanted to share:
to be human is to do, to challenge yourself, to take it easy, to vicariously chase a whim and to occasionally go with the flow and just be suprised by where you end up. It is to do things that make you uncomfortable and to find something, anything that makes you feel alive and to do that as often as possible because life is all we have
to be human is to think, to challenge your thoughts, the thoughts of others, the morality of society and of humanity, where youve been, where you are, and where youre going. to never succumb to the complacency of groupthink and to expand your mind exponentially
to be human is to feel, not just the warm and fuzzies, but to feel both uncontainable joy and inescapable sorrow, to love and be loved in return, to sometimes control what people can see but also to leave your heart on your sleeve, because ultimately, how we feel should reflect how we proceed
to be human is… to experience.
Thats what Ive got for now. Maybe Ill start getting my act together and write some more later. I have a few partial poems now… Just dont know what to do with them. Comments appreciated.